After waking up in a weird, detached funk (had some interesting dreams), I needed a reminder of who I am, so wrote this for my daily dose today on my site. This is my mantra for the day. It made me feel better just writing it, let alone saying & repeating it. Sometimes we just forget...

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Wouldn’t it be nice if you knew, with absolute unwavering conviction down to the very core of your being, that you are loved? That you are valuable? That you are worthy? That you are enough?

Think about it for a moment. To move through life, to live every moment of every day in that awareness… to carry the strength and power of that knowledge with you into every circumstance, every interaction, every communication, every event.

How would you act? What would you do? Who would you be?

Try it on for a day. Today, act as if you know. Make every thought, word and action be inspired and supported by this knowledge.

Make this your mantra for the day: Today, I know who I am. I am loved. I am valuable. I am worthy. I am enough.

And see what happens.

Uh oh, I got "tagged", whatever that means (sorry Frans, it's been a while since I logged in)... but i think it means now i am part of this game... sounds like fun!... so here goes...

THE RULES:
1. Link to the person's blog who tagged you.

2. Post these rules on your blog.

3. List seven random and/or weird facts about yourself.

4. Tag seven random [?] people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs.

5. Let each person know that they have been tagged by posting a comment on their blog.

1. I remember clearly the day Gandhi died. My mom was in the kitchen, cooking and watching a tiny little black and white tv set on the tile counter top. It was an extremely sad day. There was sadness all around. I was a young toddler and didn't know how to speak yet, but I watched the news and though I didn't cry, or consciously know who Gandhi was, I felt immense sadness in my soul. I knew someone important had passed. The weird thing? I was born in 1971. Gandhi died in 1948.

2. When I was 9, in Glyfada, Greece, I was playing in our garden by the metal fence separating the street from our property. I remember suddenly "entering" my body, "entering" my consciousness. And I thought, as though it were a natural thing, "oh, here I am." I looked down at the hands that were apparently mine and at the body attached to them, and noticed I was in it. "I am Terri. I am this person now, living in this body, experiencing this life. This is my life, now." It wasn't strange to me then and I hadn't wondered where or who I was before "entering". It just seemed natural and normal, and like the next phase in a new life experience.  

Still don't know what to make of that.

3. I have always seen through things. Literally. I see through material objects. Even though they are there, and I can hold them in my hand, and feel how "solid" they feel, I still "see" through them. Somewhere in the deep recesses of ME, I know they're not really there, they're not really solid, they're not really "real." And now quantum physics is proving what I've always felt but couldn't explain. See my Quantum Speak section of my website for more about this.

4. I laugh at everything. You might not think that's weird until you know me on a daily basis. I really do laugh at everything. And people get pissed off sometimes because they are telling me something that is unpleasant to them and I am laughing. Like, my friend's car broke down the other day, it wouldn't start AND his tire was flat. He called me to help him out, I thought it was funny so I laughed. He was offended and hurt and thought it meant I didn't care about him or his predicament. I felt it's better to laugh than get frustrated, either way, the car is still not going to start and the tire is still going to be flat whether you laugh or cry about it. So you might as well enjoy it while you're sorting it all out. Life really is hilarious if you stop taking it so seriously.

5. Every time... ok, that's an exaggeration... ALMOST every time I look at a clock, the numbers are the same. It's either 2:22 or 3:33 or 5:55 or 11:11 or... you get the picture.

6. My birth certificate is dated four years after I was born and was issued in a different country than my country of birth. And I honestly don't think my mom or dad really remember the actual date I was born. There was a war, things were crazy then, who the heck has time to remember a date?

7. I don't feel human and I never have.

How's that for weird? Though, seems pretty damn normal to me. Guess that's weird in and of itself, isn't it?

Ok, now, will someone please show me how to "tag" others?

 

Ok, friends and soon to be friends. I have a request! Are you ready?

First, thank you for your emails about my last blog (re: that silly little singing fear). I appreciate your support and words of wisdom. Update about that in a future blog.

Right now, I am in the process of gathering information, opinions, experiences, etc. and would like to know what YOU think and feel about this topic!

My boyfriend and I recently broke up. We've been together a little over 2 years and within that time, we have had a WONDERFUL journey together. If I were to write a list of everything I want in a life partner, he would meet it. We truly, truly, TRULY have so much fun, love and respect for one another.

So why the break up?

Something is missing. I don't know what it is, but whatever IT is, it is missing. And I am sad. And he is sad. We call it "oomph." I don't feel it for him and he doesn't feel it for me. While we have moments of feeling it for each other, they are fleeting.  

What is this "oomph," this spark that is missing and why? We broke up a year ago because of it, and in the breakup, we found it, so we got back together. We decided then that it was because we were faced with the possibility of losing each other that we really SAW each other and truly appreciated each other and thought that it was our lack of seeing and appreciating each other fully that made it missing. So we decided to be more appreciative of each other (not that we weren't already)... but we had to take it beyond every day appreciation.

If you knew this was the very last time you had to spend with a loved one, how much more appreciative would you be of them and of the time together and how much more precious would they and the experience be to you? This is how it felt for us during our first breakup. And we found our oomph in appreciating each other as though it were the last time we'd ever see each other.

And now a year later, it has faded. And as much as we try to regain it back, I am faced with the question, is it possible to live from that level every single day, or even most days? Is it possible to see each other, as if for the first time and simultaneously, as if for the last time, every single time?

And is that really our issue? I don't know.

Come to think of it, even in our moments of utter appreciation, do I feel like he is THE ONE? Whatever the hell that means... what does that mean, anyway? Is there ONE person out there for each of us? Or are there many and it's just a matter of finding and choosing one that you want to be with? Is there such thing as soul mates? Do we have only one per lifetime, or are there many to choose from? And when you find one, is it work or is it effortless?

I have a friend who is married to her soulmate and she says it should be absolutely effortless and that when it's right, it just flows, and you look into their eyes and you fall deeper and deeper every day and you discover new things every day about yourself and about the person, simply because you are together, and the love and exploration just keeps getting deeper and deeper, beyond where you ever thought you could even go and just when you think you can't possibly love them any more, you do.

How f***ing FANTASTIC is that????

I hold that vision for myself because, honestly, I don't want anything less, even if it's WONDERFUL!

And then there is doubt. That doubt that always creeps in, that fear... just because SHE has it, does it mean I can have it too? Why the hell not? Am I giving up something WONDERFUL that I already have, right here, right now, for an ideal that is not in my destiny this time around? And what if it is?

And if it is, could I already have it and just don't know it? Could it really already exist within the US that is me and my boyfriend and we are just too blind to see it, or too closed, or too scared, or too whatever? And if there is that one divine relationship, that one that is ordained before we ever incarnated to this lifetime, and he and I are not it, does it matter how hard we try, how much time & effort we put in? And if we ARE it, are we throwing it away to search for something we already have but just don't know it? Or are we letting each other go in order to open a doorway for that divine relationship to come in, for each of us, separately?

I don't have any answers really. I just know what I want ultimately. And as I write this, I know all the answers are found within, inside me. And when I sit still and listen, I hear them... the answers. It's now just a matter of following through.

So, my dear friends. I want to hear your thoughts on this topic because it fascinates me. This quest we have deep within us to connect on a soul level with others, this yearning to explore, discover, lose and find ourselves in others, and others in ourselves. And when it comes to love, there simply is no better topic, is there?

So what are your thoughts about soulmates? Your experiences? Your challenges? Your fears? How is your relationship? Feel free to comment on this blog publicly, or if you prefer a little more privacy, email me personally. I promise I won't share anything with anyone without your permission.

And thank you.

Thank you for being you.

 

Your greatest fears are the ones that drive you.

Whether you are driven to hide or driven to triumph, it is in your greatest fears that you will find your weakness and your strength. One cannot be had without the other. It is by stepping through your weakness that you find your strength.

Your greatest fears open the doorway to your courage.

It is up to you to step in and find it.

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Wrote the above on my daily dose today.  Sometimes, actually, MANY times, I write the daily dose as a reminder for MYSELF to live by.

Some of you know I started taking an intensive acting class almost 2 months ago. It's every day (M-F) for approximately 4 hours, starting with a 1 hour acting workout before the actual class (more about that later).

Anyway, yesterday, one of my teachers told us to "start working on a song," and that we would be "performing it for a casting director." And that's about all the information he would give us.

Only a few people in my life know this but I am absolutely TERRIFIED of singing in public! I would rather drop dead. Really, I'm not exaggerating. And I told this to my teacher in an email last night. In a panic stricken fit, I wrote him a long missive telling him how utterly scared I am of this assignment. And then I thanked him, teeth clenched & gut wrenched, for the challenge.

Why did I thank him? Because I have struggled with this very irrational phobia since I was a young girl... I used to sing openly and joyfully and then one day I must have decided to stop. I think I know when that day was, but that's beside the point right now... it doesn't matter why, it just matters that it's here and it's very real to me right now, this fear... even though in my mind, it makes absolutely no sense. But then again, fears hardly ever make sense, do they? I have tried zapping it with NLP, meditation, visualization, singing lessons, hypnosis and even therapy, and yet, it remains. Persistent little bugger, this silly little fear of mine. 

And I am so over it! I am so over being afraid of this! I want it out of my system once and for all!!! I want to sing at the top of my lungs, freely and openly and I don't want to give a damn about what I think about it! I just want to do it!

And dammit, I will!!

AAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!!!!

I used to want to be fearless. But now I realize that it’s not so much about being fearless as it is about being unafraid of being afraid.

We think ridding ourselves of fear will give us the strength to do all the things we were afraid to do. While that may be true, there is another, more easily attainable way.

Instead of fighting to rid yourself completely of fear, which often makes the fear stronger, simply give in to the idea of being afraid. When you realize that it’s ok to be afraid and that you can be afraid and still work through it, you become alive. Your senses become engaged, your entire body awakens and you find your true self within your fear, you find your strength and courage, faith and trust.

You no longer shrink back in the face of fear. The next time fear rears its head, you can stand firm and welcome it, knowing that you’re not afraid of it; you’re not afraid of being afraid.

Perhaps that is the true meaning of conquering fear. Not an absolute eradication of it, but an open allowing of it. In allowing it, we move from paralysis, where we let fear control us, to freedom, where we become the controllers of fear. And in the controlling, we need not push against it, manipulate or deny it, we simply see it and shout in the face of it, “Yes, I’m afraid! So what?”

And we keep moving forward.

Now when fear overtakes me, I stand up to it and smile. I say with a full welcome, “Bring it on!” because I know that there is a freer me, waiting on the other side of it, and the only way to get there is through the fear. And I step into it and come out on the other side, stronger, freer, better for having been through it.

I am not afraid of being afraid.

I feel most myself when I'm not thinking about myself.

When I'm simply experiencing, being, enjoying, observing... and not really thinking about who, what, when, where, why but just BEING. The moment I think, "wow, I feel sooo myself right now" is the moment I've pulled out of the moment and stop feeling myself.

Thanks for the question, good one!  :)

Which of your beliefs are your own and which belong to someone or something else?

Question your beliefs. Pick them apart. Take them one by one and ask with each, “Is this really mine?”

Do you believe something because you wholly agree with its truth? Or do you believe something because someone else told you it was true, because you are afraid, or because you don’t know what else to believe?

Don’t believe anything unless it grabs you by the soul and resonates from the core of your being.

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Posted the above on my website this morning (http://www.followyoursoul.com/) as a reminder to myself (as many of my Daily Dose's are). I woke up this morning much later than usual, at 7:30, and after lying in bed for 15 minutes, as I like to do every morning, allowing new thoughts to enter... observing, watching and listening to the freshness of the day's thoughts, I noticed an old one entering.

It said, "shouldn't you get up?" followed by, "don't be lazy, it's Monday morning and there's work to do."  

The thoughts were immediately followed by a feeling of guilt (for being lazy and wasting time) and then anxiety over everything that has to be done today.

I took a deep breath and exhaled the thoughts. And on the inhale, a new one came in, "what really has to be done today?"

The truth is NOTHING has to be done today.

Of course, spiritually, nothing ever has to be done. It is what it is and will get done exactly when it's time to get done, not a moment before, not a moment after.

But also, on an earthly, practical level, nothing really has to be done today either. Being a freelance writer, I'm not on an assignment, not working on a project and I have no pressing deadlines for today. Sure, there are things I want to do today, but nothing I have to do.

So why the anxiety and guilt? I breathed in again.

And there it was. A belief that wasn't mine (but one I had latched onto and taken in as mine) flooded in. Actually, it was more like a series of beliefs.

You have to work hard. You can't just play all the time, and heaven forbid, especially on a Monday (that should've been my first clue of societal conditioning, why is Monday any different from any other day, unless I've been conditioned to believe it is. But the Universe doesn't care. Nature doesn't care. Flowers will blossom just as readily on a Thursday or a Sunday as they will on a Monday, why are humans any different?). Get up and do something, accomplish something, be someone, go somewhere, hurry up, do, do, do, achieve, achieve, achieve, blah blah blah.

And they just kept on coming. I was lying there, staring into the blank obliviousness of the ceiling, observing the bombardment, amused and somewhat impressed, actually, at their intensity, their fervor and persistence. They were pretty convincing, these thoughts, these beliefs.

But were they really mine?

Do I really believe from the core of my very being that I have to work hard to amount to anything? That working hard and suffering is a virtue while playing joyfully and relaxing is gluttonous? That I am "wasting time" if I lay here, in my absorbing memory foamed bed, for another 15 minutes, or even another 2 hours for that matter? That I am not someone, not achieving anything or going anywhere if I just enjoy the morning doing absolutely nothing? And a Monday morning at that, when everyone else is undoubtedly and miserably working hard and presumably "going somewhere."

And was I really doing nothing? Was I not exploring and discovering an old belief inside me that no longer serves me? Is that not accomplishing something?

And anyway, did it really matter if I "accomplished" anything, whether it's internally or externally, today?

Are those beliefs really mine?

And my answer is no. Those beliefs belong to my parents and my peers. They belong to a society that believes you are nothing unless you have been recognized by its members as being someone. And in order to be recognized, to be "someone," you must do this and do that and work hard and sacrifice your joy and put in your time and accomplish and achieve and gain and go and do and keep going and keep doing and keep gaining and keep striving and reaching and trying and getting, more and more and making more and buying more and having more and doing more and more and more and...

Phew, I'm tired now. I think I'll go back to bed and do less. What other beliefs aren't mine? Society may not approve, but to me, right here, right now, that sounds divine.

Every time I hear of someone doing something beneath them, something that goes against who they really are, and explaining it off by saying they were just "in the moment," I cringe. It is as though they are using the dignified art of living in the moment as an excuse to justify their undignified choices.

Living in the moment does not mean following every whim, desire or urge that pops up with disregard to the potential consequences. It is not an excuse, a means or a pardon to forego self responsibility and accountability.

On the contrary, living in the moment requires a full awareness of not only the WHEN (which is now), but also the WHO and the WHAT and the WHY.

A happily married man, for example, who casts aside his long-term commitment to his wife in order to satisfy an immediate urge with someone else, has not only gotten lost "in the moment," he has also lost himself in the moment.

And the moment you lose yourself is the moment you actually step out of the moment and step in to ego.

Disregarding your deepest values, integrity and dignity is a sure sign that you are not present in the moment. Pursuing immediate pleasures while setting aside your highest principles is an act of ego, not self. And when ego is dominant, authenticity wanes. That is, who you truly are withdraws, and you cannot live in a moment in which you are not present.

When you know who you are and carry that knowledge with you into each moment, you naturally make choices that are in alignment with your core values. Only then are you truly living in the moment, fully aware, alert, conscious and empowered.

We all lose ourselves every now and then (and sometimes all the time!) and we all fall prey to the ego's fears, insecurities and doubts. And that's ok. We all make mistakes, we all make misaligned choices, hopefully we learn from them and move on... or we don't. Either way, it's all still a part of living and learning and growing and becoming.

But let's all start taking responsibility for our own actions, our own choices, and stop using spiritual ideals as pardons to bail us out of our mistakes. By not acknowledging full accountability for your actions, you give away your power and set the stage for further blame and denial of responsibility.  

And one more thing... this "in the moment" excuse is the same as pulling the race card. It's the same as, "I'm Italian, it's in my blood," or "I'm _____, I can't help it."  Whatever you fill in the blank, it's still the same: A glorified excuse to not be accountable for yourself and your actions.

RELAX... take a breath... stop trying so hard... just chill out!

You are a brilliant, magnificent, glorious and powerful human being. Know and trust that you ARE enough.  You don't have to do more, be more, have more. YOU ARE ENOUGH, right now, exactly this very moment. RIGHT NOW. Know this down to your core, not from a surface ego level, but deep inside, down into your gut and beyond. Reach deep down into yourself, into your very soul, and resonate with this truth. Find it, pull it out, believe it, know it, carry it with you everywhere you go.

In knowing, we no longer compromise ourselves, we no longer sacrifice our integrity, we no longer deny, diminish or forfeit our own worth, for ourselves, for anyone or for anything. In knowing, we become free.

Free... To be. To laugh. To love. To give. To change. To create. To inspire. To motivate. To activate. To authenticate. To celebrate. To live.

Free to LIVE.

So, relax. Take a breath. Stop trying so hard. Just chill out!

YOU ARE ENOUGH!

Reviving an old bit I wrote several years ago and posted on my website. Guess I needed the reminder. :)

Sometimes it is difficult to feel gratitude, though we all know it's in our best interest to. Many of us keep gratitude journals, recording endless lists of things we are grateful for (or think we should be grateful for). Some of us do it each day before going to bed or upon waking up, some only every once in a while when we find the time. Yet, even for the most committed gratitude journalist, feeling grateful and rattling off lists of things we are grateful for doesn't always go hand in hand.

Gratitude is a state of being that can be achieved by thinking of things we are grateful for, which is why a Gratitude Journal can be a wonderful and effective tool. But if all we do is think and never feel, we are missing the key element. While thinking about gratitude can often lead to feeling gratitude, we must be sure to carry it through to get to the feeling part of it and not stop at just thinking.

If you're having difficulty getting to the essential feeling part, jumpstart your gratitude by finding one, only one, thing for which you are truly grateful. Whether it is the one object that brings you joy each time you see it, the one person you so love and adore, or the one event, action or circumstance that you feel utterly blessed for having experienced, find that one thing that plugs you in instantly to the feeling of gratitude.

For me, lying in my hammock, watching the birds and squirrels scurry about and listening to the wind sing through the trees immediately brings a sense of serenity, peace and harmony for which I am grateful.

This one simple act jumpstarts gratitude within me and creates a ripple effect that spreads out over all areas of my life. Suddenly I am grateful for something else I hadn't thought much of only a moment ago, and then something else and on and on.

Before I know it, I no longer need to list things I'm grateful for, I simply AM grateful. Gratitude has embraced me and I am exuding gratitude - for no other reason than simply BEING.

Whenever I want to feel gratitude, I go lay in my hammock. It works every time, faster and more effectively than writing a list.

Whatever your "one thing" is, go do it, see it, taste it, experience it. The more time you spend in it, dwelling on it, feeling it and loving it, the more gratitude you will feel.

It's not about how many things you can be grateful for, it's about the quality of the moments you spend in gratitude.